Category Archives: women

>The Oh So Glamorous Life.

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This morning, I woke up at 4:52am. I have no idea why, but once I was awake there was no going back to sleep. I paced around for a bit, had breakfast, showered, and emptied the cat box. I decided that I might as well head out around 6:15 because I had to make a stop anyway.

I stopped at the Wal-Mart next to my house. They are the only place open at 6:15 and conveniently located on one of my available paths to work. It was not a pleasure visit, as much as a search and obtain mission.

I was marching through the store when then ridiculously attractive, probably felon, employee of Wal-Mart looked at me. Not in the way that you look at the crazy folks in Wal-Mart. He looked at me in the way that a man looks at a woman. I scurried away as fast as possible.

I should probably note that my style, for the most part, is probably the same as a 12 year old boy. I am wearing beige corduroy pants, sneakers, and a black t-shirt. My hair was up in a tiny pony tail and still wet from my shower. I don’t really wear make up that often, and today was definitely not one of those days.

I collected my purchases and was making my way to the register when Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome, and probably a criminal again stood in my path. I froze like prey and then he looked down. Oh God. I realized suddenly that I stood there holding the ultimate and perfect man repellent. I held in my two, suddenly sweaty, hands the following items:

  • One Giant Box of Tampons.
  • One Giant Box of Maxi Pads
  • One pack of prepared chocolate pudding cups.

I scurried away and hurried through the checkout, passing him again at the cashier’s desk. I marched off into the darkness and went to work.

>Why I am not a mommy blogger and other things of little use.

>I have seen a huge influx of Mommy bloggers lately and I am not one of them. I like some of them, like @redneckmommy whose blog nearly kills me with laughter. Others, who shall remain nameless, are complete idiots who make me feel like slapping them.

Aside from the fact that I have never felt compelled to limit myself to mommy or woman blogging, I just don’t fit the mold for either of those things. I don’t hang out with other mom’s and very often I find myself being shunned by the parents at my son’s school. It doesn’t help that my ex-husband is on the board and his new wife (who I love and am very grateful for) volunteers at the school all the time, while I work 12 hours a day and am not very social at the best of times.

My son’s birthday party was last week. It was at a bowling alley because both of my children have developed a bizarre need to bowl and have their birthday parties at bowling alleys this year. The party was good and the kids had a great time, but the mommy’s and my son’s teacher converged to one table and drank beer while the kids bowled. I hung back with my ex mother in law, a really cool couple and their toddler daughter, and my ex-husband’s wife’s parents.

These “mommy’s” are just bitches. Even his teacher, who was nice to me throughout the year, wouldn’t talk to me. I said “Hello” and she said “Hi” and immediately walked away. I’d like to say I don’t mind, but I do. I don’t mind for my own sake, because I’m used to it at this point, but while my kids don’t notice now, I bet they will later. Half of the women have terribly obnoxious children who I want to smack whenever they speak disrespectfully to me. I don’t understand this attitude that they have. I know that my kids don’t live with me full time or even half time. I’m divorced, that happens. It doesn’t make me any less of a caring parent. I don’t say all the nice things that these ladies like to hear. I have a brain and nothing in common with them aside from the fact that I have had children. Once we get past the birthing experience, I got nothin’.

I sat there and felt frustrated and out of uniform. The ladies, every one of them, wore capri pants and pastel tank tops with little shoes and wedding rings. I wore my standard jeans and fitted T-shirt and sneakers. I’m perpetually single. I date, of course, but marriage is not happening any time soon and even if it did, I wouldn’t be one of these ladies. They are these bizarre kind of Stepford wife clones.

My mother often says, “Why can’t you be like other girls?”

Short answer, Because I am not other girls.

I have this crazy thought that my life and the lives of the people who are taking care of them when I’m not will create a balance in the lives of my children. I hope that they see that people are all different and that it’s not a totally bad thing.

I hope that the differences in our political and religious beliefs create a balance too. They are what I would consider incredibly right wing conservative. I am not. They consider my WAY liberal. I consider myself a fan of the law and a thoughtful person. I hope that our children are exposed to all of our schools of thought and are able to make an informed and intelligent decision when it comes time to do so.

As far as the other mom’s go, I guess I can be happy that I have my youth. I also don’t drink or smoke for the most part. I don’t have food guilt at all. I don’t worry about my weight. I don’t cry myself to sleep most nights. I don’t have to be anything. The best part about being me is that no matter what I do, no one is going to look any further down on me.