Category Archives: Romance

>Dating’s tough for everyone.

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The dating series, obviously, is on hold. I got to a point that I realized I really wanted to think about it a little more.

Clearly, I am not an expert. I’m more of an adventurer. You try to figure things out as you go along and hope for the best. You learn to trust your instincts. Sometimes, you take a wrong turn, but eventually you get somewhere. It’s not always the place you thought you were headed, but you learn from it and it adds to your experience.

>Let’s Talk about Dating. Part II – Person Selection

>In my last post, I gave an outline of how I view the dating process. The first step, and the one we’ll discuss today, is: Select person (or be selected by a person.)

Selecting a person is harder for some people than for others. Some people see a person that is visually appealing and that can be enough to warrant asking a person on a date. Some people need to actually speak to a person to become interested.

In the first case, everyone has things they like. We have men who like butts or boobs. We have women who like butts or swear the first thing they notice are eyes. Personally, I am a hand person. I cannot date a person with the wrong kind of hands. What kind are the right kind? Um… the right kind. There isn’t any one thing about the hands. They just have to be right. I have to be able to envision the hands touching me and not feel gross about it. I know it’s wrong. There are so many more things to a person than hands, but they have to be right. The only clear sign I have of bad hands are the hands of nail biters. I don’t mind a little nail biting or even nail peeling, but nails that are bitten down into the quick are just not acceptable.

Now that we know that I am a freak, I mean, that I like hands we move on to the next step. The acquisition of the date. This generally requires person A to have a dialogue with person B. Here is a general idea of how this has worked in my case:

Person A: Greeting
Person B: Return greeting
Person A: Small talk
Person B: Small talk (laughing at jokes is also acceptable.)
Person A: Exhibit, explain, or imply attraction.
Person B: Reciprocate or Reject.
Person A: If attraction is mutual suggest a meeting at a future date. (If rejected move on and continue the hunt.)
Person B: Accept or Reject.
Person A: If the future meeting is accepted exchange information (phone numbers are best, but email works too.) If the future meeting is rejected attempt to exchange information anyway. Express gratitude.

The above is only for finding a person in person, obviously. Internet dating looks something like this:

Person A: View profiles until you find someone that you could potentially achieve your relationship goals with. Wink, give roses to, or message said person.
Person B: Ignore, respond, wink, or give roses back.
Person A: Send a message saying “What do you like to do for fun?” THIS IS MANDATORY!
Person B: Respond leaving out the weird crap or ignore.
Person A: Comment on whatever it is they like to do for fun. Include one emoticon minimum.
Person B: Respond to the response or ignore.
Person A: Suggest meeting in real life.
Person B: Approve or reject.

Now that we have figured out how selecting a person works we will attempt to explore being selected. Don’t worry, I’ll be brief(ish.)

I would say that the best way to get a person to select you is to gently convince the other person that they are attracted to you and that they want to ask you out. This is not always a planned event, though it certainly has been planned in the past. Conveying interest is a way to ease the concerns of the other party should they be interested in you. They will be more confident in asking you on a date because you have implied interest first.

Next time, we will explore Attempting to have intelligent conversation. I can hardly wait.


>Mini-Review: Open Invitation by Tiffany White

>This is a romance novel. At 217 pages it’s the kind of book you pick up when you have some free time and that won’t take you days to read.

Open Invitation is based around two main characters. You have the very nice and seemingly prude Amanda Buttersworth and the uber suave and sexy Kyle Fox. Amanda has a rather unfortunate name. Every time I read it I think of Mrs. Butterworth’s Syrup. Kyle is a movie critic for a local television station and his ratings are slipping, despite being loved and adored by every woman in his viewing area. Amanda is injected into his show as a co host and he is furious. Amanda decides to write him naughty letters to get back at him for being such a jerk and the rest of the book is spent dealing with the repercussions of the letters and their mutual unwanted attraction.

My best friend, Meg, will be thrilled to know that Amanda at no time enters into the category that we call “Too Dumb To Live.” (This is the category for girls who know they are being hunted by evil forces, but decide go go on midnight strolls through dangerous parts of the city by themselves anyway.) As a matter of fact, I think that she does a fabulous job outsmarting the overconfident and cocky Kyle, no pun intended.

Open Invitation is published by Harlequin, so you know how it ends, but it’s still worth reading. The book has intimate scenes. If you like the intimate details left to the imagination you might want to skip this one.

This book was published in 1989, so some of the fashion is different, but a good many of us lived through enough of it to get the point.

Open Invitation is a very pleasant read. I felt Kyle could have been the tiniest bit more vile, but was probably more endearing this way. In the typical Harlequin way, you don’t get much of a background on either of the main characters or anything really except for their massive lust for each other. In that way, the book is kind of timeless since there is nothing other than the fashion to tie it to any specific time period.

If you have some time to kill and are in the mood for some fluff, Open Invitation is for you.

Available on ebay and Amazon for as little as a dollar plus shipping.