All the things in my head.
I’ve been in bed for the past hour just crying. I know it’s dumb, but yesterday I saw that video of Gadhafi dead in the street and it really hurt to see that. I shouldn’t have watched it in the first damned place. I accidentally saw the tail end of the trailer for Paranormal Activity 3 three days ago and I’ve been scared to go pee in my own bathroom at night since then. I don’t know why I thought seeing a really dead man would in any way benefit me.
I really don’t know what I expected when I saw the video. I knew that I would see him dead, but I didn’t realize that the first thing that I would think about upon seeing him would be about his birth day and how overjoyed his family was to recieve him. Those lovely baby smells and sounds. It’s horrible how a life from go from those first few beautiful moments to being dragged out of a sewer pipe and killed in the street like an animal.
I’m certainly not saying he deserved to live. He was not a good man. He hurt the people he was sworn to protect and aided others in harming people. I just mourn that wasted potential. Those little orbs of goodness and consciousness that come together when people are born.
I’ve never been able to believe that anyone is born bad. I just can’t believe that. I’ve held dozens of babies in my hands and they are all goodness and light. They have no malice in them. All these bad people had to have had the opportunity over and over to do the right thing, right?