>Friday morning dawned with big plans for the weekend and the impatience that comes with knowing you have to get through the whole work day before you can have any of it. It’s like being offered a slice of cake, but then having to walk a mile to get it. I went to work as usual. My boss is out of town and I had a list of things to accomplish. I was getting things done and looking forward to my weekend.
I sat down at my desk and was about to start a project, but my phone rang. It was my mother. I asked her how she was doing, but it was just a routine question. She replied that she was in the hospital and that her heart wasn’t pumping enough blood. I told her I would be there as soon as I could and went to speak to my employees. I tried to rally them to finish what needed to be done, though I knew that it might be difficult since I actually have to do the final invoices.
I picked up my brother and we raced to St. Petersburg to see her. When we walked into her room she was covered with oxygen tubes and EKG wires. She had bloodwork done and they planned to do more so they left the vein open. She was this strange gray color and the oxygen tube had pulled her nose slightly to the right. I’ll admit it. I was freaked out. Cam and I stayed calm. She wanted food, but the ER nurse said she couldn’t have any. The hospital decided to admit her and they actually got her in a room pretty quickly. She said she just wanted to sleep and Cameron was getting antsy, so we left and I took Cam home.
Today, they released her saying that the muscles around her heart are strained and she’s experiencing cramping. My mother says that she feels extreme pressure on her chest, but that she feels a little better now.
I found myself thinking about my mother and how awful it would be if she wasn’t around. Yes, she can be a real big pain in the butt, but I can’t tell you how glad I am that she’s here. In that hospital room, I came face to face with the reality that she won’t always be here and I don’t freaking like it.
I took Mom home today and walked her dog. I took the dog down the nature trail and realized how much I miss being surrounded by trees and water and having quiet time. Here’s a photo of the nature trails end. It’s a good place to think.